Life is good from social media

Social discomfort is very common, salary negotiations or small conversations that are divided by a very awkward silence.

In a report of social psychologist Tessa West, CNBC, almost every person finds themselves in a interaction at some point, which makes him uncomfortable, especially at work, these conditions appear every day.

She says: «Most people follow a simple approach to calm discomfort:« We will do our best to make our part with a smile (even when there is nothing funny), and we will do our best to persuade others to persuade others. I am cute. ”

But are you so beautiful at work?

A problem of high grace

There is a sad paradox, whenever people try to use kindness to hide our anger, people will find our truth.

Humans are good in capturing feelings, which are leaked by non -our behaviors like the voice of sound. By raising congratulations we believe that we are hiding our anxiety well, but when these congratulations are told to artificial smile, no one believes them.

It is not beneficial, we often control our anger by providing very simple notes. “Well done!” As with these classic phrases such, in most cases, this praise is not eligible.

Exaggeration in positive reactions indicates that you are not paying attention. Over time, the recipient becomes uncomfortable. He needs specific information that already helps him to improve his work.

What do you do instead?

Most people work in the environment with high grace. Here are the 3 things you can do to convert this culture to an environment that predicted honesty and useful reactions.

1- He asked about “culture of mercy”

Ask yourself: Do all those around me enjoy this high culture, or are they doing so because everyone is doing that?

Social regulations are a major inspiration for behaviors, and they realize that they are “followed” to adopt these regulations, to adopt these regulations.

If the new expatriates notice that everyone is praising him after the by -level performance, it will do the same.

If no one is clearly questioned by this behavior, the result is called “plural ignorance”, and everyone wants to do so because others want to do so, but everyone will make very good comments, but secretly.

Start a conversation on change. Learn about the real feelings of people about the culture of kindness. One of the ways to do that is an alternative proposal.

Before the following performance, for example, you can ask people: “How do you feel if you write 3 specific things that each of us can improve?

2- Be perfect and specific

It is common to rely on behaviors to form imprints and UMP hall. For example, we can judge a person who is constantly late. But the impressions are very common, but they are not useful even if they are positive.

Make sure to be specific and based on behavior. You can determine how much the problem is, more useful notes.

The same applies to praise. If you definitely say why he has done what he has done or his work is amazing, you will look more honest and your notes are more important.

3- Start with small and neutral steps

It may seem like jumping from the shelf and moving from the culture of very good notes to honesty culture.

Start with small steps like choosing simple things, but they are still concerned with people. The goal is to build the skill of receiving notes without getting angry.

In this way, as soon as you go into the most difficult things, the standards of honesty have begun to change.

When striving to change the culture around you, patience. It takes a long time to form the standards, and it takes a long time to change.